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Dit nummer heeft vanaf mijn puberteit in mijn hoofd gespookt. Zo mooi! Ik leerde het spelen op de gitaar. Maar ook zo pijnlijk, die tekst! 
Want ik wist natuurlijk onbewust wel dat ik mezelf steeds verder in groef achter mijn beschermingsmechanismen.

“A set of sad transparencies till no one could see through”

“Deceptions hidden with your lips, but spoken with your eyes.”

 En ik veroordeelde mezelf daarover.

“But you are surely just as evil as the worst my tongue can tell” 

En ik voelde me zo alleen.

“But your fire just consumes you, you alone can feel the pain”

En omdat ik het doorhad, en omdat ik mezelf veroordeelde, spon ik om mijn linies een ragfijn, onzichtbaar web. Nu mag ik ontrafelen. Het voelt als opluchting. Net zoals mijn trans zijn is dit een geheim dat ik veel te lang bewaarde, en dat is gaan ontsteken. Ik ben zo blij dat ik nu met behulp van mijn therapeut de pleister er af mag trekken, en kan gaan voelen wat daaronder zit.

 

It started out quite simply, as complex things can do;
A set of sad transparencies till no one could see through,
But least of all the one inside, behind the iron glass;
A prisoner of all your dreams that never come to pass.

Alone you stand, corrupted by the vision that you sought,
And blinded by your hunger, all your appetites are bought,
But in spite of what becomes of you, your image will remain;
A reminder of your constant loss, a symbol of your gain.

And your friends are together,
Where the people are all gathered,
All along the road you traveled all your days.
And soon, you have succumbed to what the others all believe,
And though the lie affects them still it’s you that they deceive,
And all at once you’re lost within the emptiness of you,
And there’s no one left who’s near enough to tell you what to do.

You’re left with nothing but your self-potential in the dark,
Like tinder resting on a rock, protected from the spark,
But your fire just consumes you, you alone can feel the pain,
And you stand in all your glory and you know you can’t complain.

But your friends are together,
Where the people are all gathered,
All along the road you traveled all your days.

But you are surely just as evil as the worst my tongue can tell,
For you’ll never face my heaven and I’ll not endure your hell.
You have lost the chance to mingle by your constant, quiet lies;
Deceptions hidden with your lips, but spoken with your eyes.

For I know you for what you are, not for that’s really all you are.
And your talents of a minor order seem to stretch too far.
And we both know that this masquerade can’t carry on too long.
You’re deep inside the Pride Parade, but where do you belong?

And your friends are together,
Where the people are all gathered,
All along the road you traveled all your days.