Dear coaches,

You may not realise this, bit your ‘therapeutic’ relationship with your clients begins with your marketing.

Because you want to sell, you search for needy people, and you present your programs as the thing they need.

If you are successful, your client will give you the power to fulfill their needs. This by itself is okay, even needed at first. I wrote this blog about that.

But there’s a catch.

Your clients don’t see you. They see whatever they need, and project that on you.

This is called transference.

You can use that. But please be aware of it’s presence. Because otherwise you could well end up with ‘countertransference’.

If you start to believe what your clients see in you, you invite the risk of wanting to please them.

One obvious disadvantage of that is that your self-worth will be attached to satisfied clients. A mismatch with one of your clients will hurt more than is has too.

The other disadvantage is that you will lose your sharpness.

Clients are dodgers, they avoid the things they need most to address.

If you really want to help your clients  (I know you are the kind of coach that isn’t satisfied with a shallow success), you will want to help them face these things.

And here’s the thing.

You will have to work very carefully with transference, use it, and transform it.

Your marketing will make your clients see you as the expert. And at first your relationship is built on authority. That may seem the perfect starting point to get your clients to tackle the things they are avoiding.

But it isn’t.

Because the things they are avoiding involve shame.

What you need to walk with clients through their shame is a trusting relationship.

This is why I like the branding approach of Esther de Charons Wonderfuly Weird Women.

She brings authenticity to your brand.

If you want really top-notch skills to take your clients through their shame take a look at this academy: (sorry for Dutch readers only, but don’t worry I took my education there, and I can help you If you want to reach next level-coaching)

Use your sensitivity, to guide your clients to the process, and please, teach them the skills to keep on growing. Because however great your program, you know they are just starting out on a journey.

Please don’t leave them needy.

Please follow and like us: